When you’re feeling stuck and nothing seems to work, it’s a sign that it’s time to realign.
Feeling aimless, mentally foggy or quietly worn down often happens after you’ve worked hard and done what you thought you were meant to do, but in the process have neglected yourself and the maintenance work required to remain a high performer.
I know that place well, not as something to fix or push through, but as a signal that the way you are thinking and moving through life needs to re-align to your true self.
What creates forward momentum isn’t more effort or reassurance. It having a better understanding of who you are at present, admitting what is no longer aligned and making intentional decisions about your future on that basis.
My Story
For a long time, I had a strong relationship with myself.
I was reflective, self-aware and used to checking in with who I was becoming at each stage of life. Because of that, I rarely questioned my direction or felt disconnected from myself.
That quickly changed during my early career as a junior lawyer.
What began as ambition and momentum slowly gave way to environments that didn’t reflect my values – unhealthy workplace dynamics, abusive leadership, misguided management and cultures that quietly erode confidence rather than build it. At first, I tried to push through. But over time, the impact became deeper than I realised. I started to feel inadequate and question whether I had enough to be a lawyer.
As my confidence wore down, so did my self-trust.
Decisions that once felt intuitive began to feel uncertain. I second-guessed myself. The inner reference point I’d always relied on grew faint and without noticing at first, I stopped trusting my own perspective. The more misaligned my external life became, the more disconnected and lost I felt internally.
By 2020, that misalignment reached a breaking point. Even then, what made it harder wasn’t only what I was experiencing, it was what I believed it meant about me.
As a lawyer and a high performer (the two are not mutually exclusive by the way), I felt like I should have known. I was trained to stay composed, think clearly, handle pressure and “figure it out.” So when I started struggling, I felt embarrassed and like I’d failed at something that I was supposed to be good at.
That narrative – “I shouldn’t be here” – made everything worse. It made me quieter and it made asking for help feel scary, because I didn’t want anyone to see that I didn’t have it all handled.
I could no longer hide the decline in my mental and physical health or self-belief. After years of feeling internally lost and unable to regain momentum, life felt flat and heavy. My enthusiasm for my future and for myself had faded. For someone who was always working toward the next chapter, the absence of momentum was deeply unsettling. Nothing was moving, because I wasn’t aligned internally.
I found myself questioning everything – not from curiosity, but from disorientation and doubt. The life I had worked hard to build no longer felt like mine. The path ahead felt unclear. And for the first time, I didn’t trust my direction, my desires or my ability to choose well.
The questions that haunted me were quiet but persistent:
- Is this still right for me?
- Have I built a life that no longer reflects who I am?
- What actually matters now?
- Where am I going — and why?
- Am I good enough?
The point of change.
What I came to understand in retrospect is something I see repeatedly in my work as a coach (and still as a lawyer amongst peers) today:
When confidence erodes, self-trust goes with it – and without self-trust, even capable and intelligent people find it hard to grow further than where they are. But growth isn’t about fixing yourself or achieving more on the outside. It’s about realigning your inner world so your thinking, decisions and actions are anchored in who you truly are. It’s also about asking for help, because don’t get where you want to go by doing everything alone. Any success is a team effort, and sometimes the most powerful move is getting the right external support to move you forward.
Everything shifted when I stopped trying to fix myself and instead focused on reconnecting with who I was and what I wanted. I clarified my values, recalibrated my mindset, recognised my greatness and reshaped my decision making process. From that place, trust returned, first quietly, then steadily. Direction followed. And the future became something I could build intentionally, rather than reactively.
That turning point is where my work now lives.
Using the steps that I did myself, I have created my signature five step plan which has helped countless people meet themselves where they are and finally live in the richness of an aligned life.
I work with high performance people who find themselves at a crossroads and feel disconnected from themselves and/or the life they’ve built. My role isn’t to motivate or reassure. It’s to help you identify where misalignment has crept in, rebuild self-trust and confidence and build any or every aspect of your life with intention and in alignment with your true self.
